Josef
Maria Mayer
PROLOGUE
Since now
I’m fifty years old, I write not of Love,
I have
banned the demon Cupid from me,
No woman
had liked it to be loved by me.
Therefore
Lady Wisdom spoke to me:
Because no
woman likes to be loved by you,
So vow your
love to the dead, to your dead darling!
Once I was
in the deepest night of my soul,
Lying on my
couch I was bitterly weeping,
Eating
ashes and drinking the cup of tears,
When I saw
at midnight an heavenly vision:
I saw a
glance of light from heaven coming down,
So sweet a
light, I thought, it was the Virgin!
But then I
saw it was not the Virgin Mary,
But a
female spirit totally naked,
But closed
in the glance of chastity and shyness.
And the
heavenly spirit spoke to me:
I’m Carina,
the beloved of your youth,
Fear not my
darling, I am send to you
By the
heavenly Queen of angels and saints,
Our Lady
send me to you as your guardian angel,
To give
comfort to your lunatic soul!
I will show
you in a vision the depth of hell!
You have to
wander under my protection
Through
hell and all her innermost chambers.
I will
guide you on this mystical way.
Fear not,
my darling, have comfort in your soul,
I will not
leave you alone, I’m with you, my darling!
So spoke my
beloved Carina, naked and pretty,
Like Urania
from the spheres of the Venus,
Like a
female angel, an heavenly sister.
And so she
took my hand and leads me the way
To the
North, in winter and midnight and frost,
Together
went we down the way to hell.
O
Virgin-Mother Mary, I’m totally yours!
HELL
I
I went with
my sister Carina on a path
At the
Lethe, the Acherusian lake,
And
darkness and frost were thick in the dusty sky.
We went the
street of silence in the darkness,
Where we
forgot the earth and the light of the sun.
The frost
of winter pierced me like a sword.
Then I saw
many rats coming out of the bushes,
Their thin
high voices like a pipe of horror.
Paranoia
overcame my soul,
Anxiety
filled my maddened mind with fear
And horror
strived me when I saw the beasts.
The rat is
the beast of the demon Beelzebul.
Carina
prayed to the Father in the Heavens
And I had a
vision: I saw the Holy Father
John Paul
the Second walking with his staff.
But then
again came the rats, the beasts of the devil,
Like
shadowy ghost they were running to and fro,
A mass of
evil spirits round about me.
I looked in
the sky if there appears a light,
And I saw
the moon and a shivering cloud,
But the
shivering cloud had the form of a rat.
I saw a
shivering cloud in form of China
And saw
another cloud in form of India
And a rat
climbing on the Himalaya..
Then I saw
a cloud in form of a rat
And another
cloud in form of an angel,
An
archangel with a golden sword in his hand,
And the
archangel with the golden sword
Beats the
shivering rat in the cloud of the sky,
And the
shadowy rat sunk down in the stinking pit!
Then I
smelled the fragrance of pestilence,
The
stinking pestilence of rotten flesh of rats,
And I saw a
floor full of the flees of rats.
Carina
prayed a prayer to God the Father
And I saw
in a vision the crucified Lord
And saw a
shadowy rat to the feet of the cross.
All this
horror-visions maddened my soul
And I
became a maniac full of depression
And a
lunatic mind full of paranoia.
And this
was the entrance in the underworld.
II
Before us
was lying a street and we were going
The way. We
saw at the end of the way a forest.
Carina was
singing with a high and lovely voice
The songs
of Christmas she learned in her early childhood.
Suddenly
came a mass of barking dogs,
They follow
me, their barking sounds like thunder.
In my soul
was anxiety and fear
And to
drive out the fear of anxiety
I thought
about a mathematical problem.
May the
wisdom of Pythagoras
Help the
soul who followed by the dogs
Runs the
streets of hell in paranoia.
The dogs
returned in their huts of poverty.
Carina and
I came to a green field before
The forest,
surrounded by willows of sadness.
There we
stood in the mist of the frosty night.
My eyes
were blind. I couldn’t see anything.
Suddenly
came another mass of dogs,
Running to
and fro on the field in the night
Loudly
barking and their loudly barking
Tears in
pieces my spirit full of fear.
Carina
stood at my side and said to me:
Have no
fear, my darling, I stand at your side!
If you are
blind, my darling, I’ll take your hand!
An old and
great and manly dog came near
To me and
stood in front of me barking loudly
With the
aggression of a real hell-hound!
Then he
went away and Carina and I
Climbed up
a small hill and came into the forest,
Silence
reigned in the forest of the night.
I went
further on and suddenly saw
Running
blood out of my body’s right side
And the
streaming blood became a fox,
I said a
fox but not a real fox,
Only the
ghost of a fox, a purple shade,
Running at
my right side through the forest.
Maybe the
ghost of the fox was an evil spirit
Driven out
of me because of Carina’s prayer.
But the
purple shade of the ghost of a fox
Barks in
the night in the forest and to him came
A female
fox-ghost like a sexy woman.
What is
this, I asked Carina, my sister.
Carina
said: The female fox-ghost is
A sexy
woman who sucks your blood like a vamp
And you
will loose the power of your life
And the
female vamp will live with power
And will
oppress you, so you will loose
Your force
of live and wish only an early death!
But great is
the power of her sex-appeal,
The might
of her sex-appeal and erotic grace
Leads you
to the idolatry of a sex-idol!
I prayed: O
queen of chaste love, O Virgin,
I vow to
you my body and all my sex,
Help me, O
Virgin, to live in chastity!
As I prayed
this prayer to the holy Virgin,
The manly
and the female fox-ghosts flied.
And I and
Carina came to the house of hell.
It was a
rotten house, a nearly ruin.
As we came
slowly near to the house of hell,
An
hell-hound rises out oft the darkest night.
This is Cerberus,
said Carina to me,
But fear
not, my darling, I stand at your side
And will
guard you like a guardian angel.
Cerberus
was a black dog with three heads
And barking
out of all his heads and mouths
And
springing to and fro in front of the door.
And he
erected his body and stood upright
And leans
his body on the wall of the house
And then he
came and licked my arm with his tongue.
Carina
said, Hush! And Cerberus laid himself down.
III
Now I was
in the halls of stinking hell
And went
with bare feet on broken fragments of glass
And felt
the blood running out of my naked feet.
Am I then a
fakir overcoming pain
With
concentration of body’s energy
And
gathering energy only in the head?
I laid
myself wounded under a bloody tree
And felt a
sharp pain as if a knife was cutting
My hand
from my arm, but then I saw a vision:
I saw the
green waters of the river Jordan
And Jesus
rising out of the depth of the Jordan,
And heard a
voice: You are my beloved son!
And then I
saw Jesus glorified in heaven
As if he
lives on the planet Venus above
And on the
Venus were gardens with orange trees.
I stood up
from the ground under the bloody tree
And heard a
lunatic soul coming near to me
And
speaking in the folly of an idiot:
I visited
oftentimes a pretty girlfriend
And in her
house there lived an unseen cat-ghost
And this
cat-ghost had torn in pieces my soul
And the
blood of my soul was running out
And now my
soul is dead, a shade in hell
And for
ever torments me the cat-ghost of my girlfriend.
I looked in
the sky above and saw an heart
Full of
burning fire of passionate love
And a red
dragon makes war against this heart.
Then I
looked in the depth and saw in hell
Fire coals,
gloomy transparent coals
And saw the
lost souls in midst of the burning coals.
And I heard
the shrieking yells of the souls
And smelled
the evil fragrance of pestilence
And saw
devils burning in the depth of hell
And saw the
devils like beasts and ugly monsters
And they
tormented the damned souls in hell
And were
themselves punished by the fire of hell.
My heart
feels pity with the damned souls
And I felt
great fear and anxiety
For the
salvation of atheists and occultists.
I raised my
head and looked in the sky above
And saw
again the burning heart in the sky
And heard
the female voice of Our Lady speaking:
Vow your
soul and all the souls of the world
To my
Immaculate Heart and pray and pray,
Pray daily
the rosary for the salvation of souls!
I went
further on. Carina hovered before me.
IV
Carina
leads me into an hall of hell,
Build of massy
grey stones. There was no light,
But two
thrones build of onyx stone were there.
Carina
said, This are the kingly thrones of hell,
The one is
the throne of king Pluto and the other
Is the
throne of the maiden-queen Proserpine.
A grisly
lady came into the hall of the thrones
With a long
black mantel and a crown
On her head
with the long black hair like snakes.
Her face
was very bitterly, full of anger,
Full of sad
depression and melancholy,
And her
heart in her bosom was of stone.
But I
greeted her: Peace, o queen and lady,
I am a
wanderer through the world beyond,
Please tell
me your history, worthy dame of night!
And
Proserpine, a sixteen years old girl,
Said to me:
You are a living man
Of flesh
and blood, and not a shade of death,
But welcome
in the realms of the underworld.
What you
see, write clearly on a paper,
That the
living people on earth can read it.
I was a
silly young girl of fourteen years
And I
played with my girlfriends in the meadows
And we
gathered blue-eyed flowers of the spring.
Suddenly
came four horses with a chariot
And riding
on it king Pluto came to me
And like a
thief he plucked me from the meadow
And took me
with him in his kingdom below.
My mother
Ceres, the goddess of grain and bread,
Was
weeping, but she couldn’t find me anymore.
I am for
evermore the queen of hell
Because I
ate the forbidden pomegranate
And now I’m
dead and queen of the shades of the dead.
O
Proserpine, I said to the shadowy girl,
I heard
much about the damned Tantalus,
Is he
really here in the underworld?
And
Proserpine said to me, Go in the garden
Of
asphodels and see under the apple tree
Of the
knowledge of good and evil Tantalus.
I did so
and went with Carina on my side
In the
garden of asphodels and saw
Under the
apple tree lying the damned Tantalus.
And
Tantalus spoke to me and my angel Carina:
I am full
of desire after this apples!
But I can’t
reach them, they are hanging to high!
But always
day and night I must see these apples
And daily
renewed is my burning desire for them
And they
are laughing so lustful in the high!
Oh what a
pain, oh what a smart of heart,
To see
these apples like the breasts of my lady
And not to
be allowed to pluck these fruits!
The burning
desire of my flesh consumes me
And I’m
nearly an heap of ashes, cold,
Consuming
desire of the flesh has murdered me!
Tantalus
spoke it and I was full of pity.
But then I
saw another damned spirit
Weeping and
sighing in the garden of hell.
Who are
you, asked I the spirit and he said:
I’m
Mephistopheles, a damned spirit,
And my eternal
pain is the sickness of love.
When I saw
the angels of God on earth
Like four
years old boy in their naked body
And clear
blue eyes and golden curled hair,
I felt in
love with these angelic boys.
It was a
pure platonic love in the spirit
Without any
pleasure and sensuality,
But the
angelic boys didn’t love me, alas,
Cause I am
an old and stinking devil of hell
And when I
love, this love is nothing but torture!
Now I’m
sighing here in the garden of hell
And make
wet the asphodels with my tears,
Because I’m
full of longing after these boys!
But the
angelic boys never come back
To me and I
am totally isolated
And have no
friend and no beloved in hell.
I wish I
had never been created by God!
V
We came
into another room of hell,
At the
entrance Carina gave me a mirror,
To see the
next spirit only through that mirror.
And in the
mirror I saw an ugly woman,
Her eyes
were like lightings, full of bitterly wrath,
And the
hair on her head were snakes and vipers.
This is
Medusa, a damned spirit of hell,
Said Carina
to me, and the look of her eyes
Transforms
any human being into stone.
Only when
you see her face in the mirror,
You can be
saved from her bewitching looks.
There are
poet-masters of the hags
Who choose
Medusa for their ideal and muse,
As you
know, O poet of the court
Of the most
holy and blessed Virgin Mary.
We went
further on and saw three women,
If they
were women I do not know or if
They were
evil spirits damned in hell.
Their
reddish eyes were full of wrath and revenge,
Servants of
the goddess of revenge,
Of the evil
idol Nemesis.
These are
the furies, said Carina to me,
They who
chased Orestes in his maniac madness
And
followed him as evil spirits of hate.
Their
hearts are of stone, full of pride and bitterness,
And they
hate the good works of human beings
And torment
the hearts of the loving souls.
Beware your
self from the rage of the furies, beloved,
Their
hearts are full of hate and bitterness
And full of
the pride of the pride angel Lucifer.
Come on, my
darling, see the next group of women,
They are
dancing a dance in the labyrinth,
Praying
magical prayers to the goddess of the moon.
Carina
spoke, and I saw a group of hags,
New heathen
of the age of Aquarius,
And I heard
their loud blasphemy and prayer:
O threefold
goddess of the stony moon,
You are a
maiden, called the Virgin Diana,
You are a
bride, Endymion’s darling Luna,
You are an
old grey woman, Mother of hags,
Mother of
the fates and Queen of hell,
You are
Hekate, the queen of the witches!
O threefold
goddess of the moon, your beloved
Little son
and bridegroom is Lucifer,
The old god
in the kingdom of the mothers.
We were
always dancing under the moon
The dances
of the labyrinth of the moon
And united
our souls with Lucifer!
We gave the
testimony of the religion
Of Hekate’s
satanic feminism,
We believed
in Satan, not in the God Jehovah.
We didn’t
believe in God the Father, no!
We believed
in the goddess of nature, our mother,
And her son
and darling, the old god Satan!
Therefore
we are damned in eternal hell
And now Satan
is tormenting us
And
punishing us with the wrath of his hellish hate!
I heard it
with fear and prayed an Ave Maria.
VI
Now Carina
and I went further on
And came
into a big dark room in hell
And I saw
on the wall a picture of a phallus.
And there sat
a man, a Communist from Paris,
Who lived
free love, free sexuality,
A leader of
the sexual revolution.
Carina said
to him: Oh uncle Jean,
You are
here damned in eternal hell?
And the
uncle Jean said to Carina:
The abuse
of my niece was the reason
For Jesus
Christ to damn me into hell,
The Lord
hates it when a man has sex with children!
It would be
better I had never been born!
Now I’m
damned in the hell of the demons of sex!
God loves
the sex, but hates the abuse of children!
Then he
went away howling like a wolf,
And Carina
and I went further on
And came
into a flowery garden in hell
And in the
midst of the garden stood a statue,
The idol of
the false god Priapus,
An ugly
dwarf with a big erected phallus.
I said,
This false god Priapus is in hell
And all his
worshippers, heathen, female and male,
In
blasphemy worship this false god of the phallus?
The
invisible Godhead, eternal being,
The Father
of the lights, eternal spirit,
They have
hated, but have prayed to a phallic symbol.
But the
false godhead of the erected phallus
Was a
demon, a devil, an evil spirit,
His
worshippers leading only to lust and pleasure.
But then I
saw a vision, I saw in hell
A glorious
beam of light appearing suddenly
And then
the beam of light was transformed
And became a
very great phallic symbol,
A pillar of
light, an extraordinary phallus
And the
demonic phallus opened its body
And out of
the phallus appeared the demon Shiva
And thunder
and lightning were heard and seen about him
And I heard
his voice with terrible fear:
I’m Shiva,
the destroyer of the world!
I am the
god of destruction, the god of death,
I am the
godhead of the godly phallus!
My
worshippers offered victims to me, the lives
Of little
children, they offered human beings
To me and
my bride, the female devil Kali!
All the
heathen who slaughtered little children,
Innocent
babes to my demonic godhead,
They will
be punished here in eternal hell!
I heard
this with terrible fear, but then I saw
An horrible
giant with an horrible phallus
In the
centre of this room of hell
And the
giant’s phallus was erected
And he was
fiery red like burning coals
And in his
phallus was a devilish power,
It was a
phallic symbol like a nuclear missile!
And the
plan of the devil was the third world-war!
In great
fear I asked my beloved Carina:
Who is this
devil with his biggest phallus?
And Carina
said to me: This devil
Is Lucifer,
the father of the wars,
Here you
see the centre of deepest hell!
This is
Lucifer’s phallus – turn around –
This is the
for ever damned Satan’s asshole!
And then I
saw Hitler licking Satan’s ass!
VII
And then I
saw a concentration camp
And all
around ashes and a smelling of gas
And a
stinking fragrance of rotten flesh
And at all
ends of the camp there was fire
And wolfs
howling in the desert of the death,
And in the
midst of the camp of Satan
Stood
Hitler, barking like an hungry dog
And howling
like a wolf and crying loud
With
shrieking jells in devilish blasphemy:
O father
Odin, I was the god of the world,
The tyrant
from the grace of Satan and Odin,
Cause Satan
is the tyrant-god of the world!
I’ve hated
the Lord’s bride, the virgin Israel,
Because I
have hated the God of Israel,
I hadn’t
worshipped the Deus Sabaoth,
I had been
a worshipper of my ego,
My gigantic
ego, the house of Satan,
And Satan
is the murderer from beginning
And father
of the lie, the god of the world,
And lord of
the flies, and I his servant was,
And he was
mine and I am his, the fiend,
The evil
one, now he is punishing me
In this
hell of eternal hate and death
And day after
day the devil destroys me!
Now I hate
myself and I hate the devil
And Satan
hates me with eternal hate
And
devilish hate reigns her in eternity!
But in
paradise I see the Pope,
The pastor
angelicus, who fought against me
And vowed
the mankind to the heart of Mary
And the
heart of Mary triumphed over me
And so in
desolation I murdered my own life
And Justice
damned me into eternal pain!
So spoke
the damned soul of Adolf Hitler
And I sung
Hallelujah to Lady Justice!
But then I
saw the soul of Josef Stalin,
He stood in
an endless waste of frost and snow
And his
eyes were blinded by the sun on the snow
And he was
eating shit of Siberian wolfs.
And he
howled: Be damned, father Satan,
I’ve
murdered the emperor, the holy man,
I’ve
murdered millions of priests and monks,
I’ve
murdered thousands of communistic comrades,
I have
reigned with murder and terror and fear
And
transformed mother Russia into a gulag!
I have
oppressed the holy mother Russia,
I have
destroyed the holy mother earth,
I have
fought against the Mother of God!
I’d lived
from day to day in paranoia
And feared
the treachery of my doctors and comrades,
But I’d
made myself to the god of Russia,
I was the
father god of the atheist,
My holy
face the icon of the religion
Of the
blasphemy of communism!
I had had
no reverence for the Holy Father
In Rom, I
asked: How many are the troops
Of the
Pope, how many are his soldiers?
But it was
Our Lady of Fatima
Who had
overcome my communism,
Cause
Russia is the darling of the Mother of God!
Now I damn
myself, I damn my own soul,
There’s
only one God, only one Father in Heaven,
And I am a
victim of the murderer Satan,
I am damned
here in eternal frost
And
everlasting winter in the Gulag
Of the
hell. God damned me, Satan be damned!
I heard it
and praised Our Lady of Fatima!
Hail Mary,
God is with you, I vow to you
The
faithful soul of mother Russia,
May your
heart of love be soon triumphant!
VIII
Carina and
I went further on and I saw
A fire in
hell, two men in the fire of hell,
And I asked
my guardian angel Carina:
Who are
this men? And Carina said to me:
One of them
is China’s dictator Mao.
The look of
Mao was the look of a red dragon.
And Mao
said to me: O friend of China,
The virgin
China will be a Christian nation.
I had
persecuted the disciples of Christ
In my
permanent revolution, the terror
I brought
with my revolution of the culture
Was an
horrible terror of troops of the party.
I was the
visible god of the people of China,
They
worshipped me in a big idolatry
And
believed in my book, the Mao-bible.
In the
terror-regime of my communism
The hungry
peasant were eating rats and the mothers
Had eaten
their babes in the catastrophe of hunger.
I had
murdered forty million men
In the
revolution of the culture
And in the
catastrophe of the hunger.
But the
communist comrades made me a god
And a
redeemer of the Chinese people
And they
preached the power of my words:
The
Mao-bible makes the lame jumping
And opens
the eyes of the blind, O wonderful
Are the
words of the godly leader Mao,
His ideas
are like nuclear missiles!
O friend of
China, but now I am in hell
And the
fire of hell punishes my soul,
But China
converts to the God-man Jesus Christ!
All the
work of the devil is in vain!
Mao in
hell! And Christ reigns in China!
Thus said
Mao, and Carina smiled
And said to
me: The other man in the fire
Is Lenin,
Wladimir Iljitsch Uljanow!
In the
folly of our youth we loved
Comrade
Lenin, isn’t it, darling Josef?
But now he
is united with his comrade Satan!
And
heavenly Justice, punishing comrade Satan,
Is also
punishing comrade Lenin in hell!
He had
purchased the holy orthodox church,
He had
murdered priests and nuns and monks,
He had
stolen the golden cups from the altars
And had
destroyed the icons of the Mother of God!
His reign
was a reign of terror and his power
Was the
might of revolutionary hate!
The
working-men had to work on holy Sunday!
His
communism was the communism of war
And the
instrument of his power was terror
And the
Russian people became his slaves!
See the
mystery of the anti-christ! See Lenin
Adorned by
his comrades as the redeemer of mankind
And
communism thought for paradise!
But the
communistic paradise
Was the
open hell of devils on the earth,
And comrade
Lenin is damned in eternal damnation!
But the
Russian people will convert
And the
heart of Mary will be triumphant
And Hagia
Sophia reigns in Russia!
Thus spoke
Carina, and I said:
Hail Holy
Mother of God from Wladimir,
Now I vow
to your Immaculate Heart
The rebirth
of the faithful soul of Russia!
IX
Then I saw
a stinking pit of rubbish
And in the
pit two men with mighty beards
And they
were arguing and discussing with hate.
And Carina
said to me: This is
The root of
all the communist terror-regimes
Of Lenin
and of Stalin and of Mao,
This is the
hell of the false philosophy,
The pit of
dialectical materialism,
And the two
philosophers are Marx and Engels.
And
Frederic Engels came to me
And said:
In the beginning of the mankind
The apes
were climbing down from the trees.
Before that
time they needed their arms
To climb
from branch to branch in the trees,
But now
their arms and hands were without work.
Now they
stood upright on the earth and saw
Their
parents and with their hands they murdered
Their
parents and eat the flesh of their fathers and mothers.
The flesh
of animals created the power of minds
And so the
apes became intelligent beings,
Because
they’ve eaten the flesh of father and mother.
And since
they were intelligent beings, the apes
With their
hands began to work, and their work
Made at
last the apes to human beings.
And the
first human beings lived in freedom,
In a
society of primitive communism.
This is the
thesis in the dialectic of Hegel,
But the
anti-thesis are the societies
Of
struggling classes, first the slavery,
Then the
monarchies of the middle-ages,
At last the
struggling class of the capitalists
In struggle
with the working class, but this class
Will end
the struggle of classes in a revolution,
And then
will come the synthesis in the dialectic
Of Hegel,
this is the perfect society
Of highest
communism in future times,
When the
working class in its revolution
Had hanged
at the lanterns all the capitalist
And the
working class lives in freedom.
This was
our philosophy, the dialectic
Of Hegel
mixed with the materialism
Of Darwin
and Feuerbach – demonic wisdom!
Worldly,
fleshly and demonic wisdom!
What was
the fruit of this demonic wisdom?
The
communist leaders were murderers, terrorists!
Satan
opened his hell and on earth began
Not the
earthly paradise of Adam and Eve,
But the
devilish reign of the Antichrist!
Therefore
me and Marx are in the hell
Of the
philosophers of demonic wisdom,
We plucked
the forbidden fruit from the tree of knowledge,
We had been
inspired by the snake,
We had
followed the knowledge of Lucifer,
We had
prepared the way for the Antichrist!
Alas, said
Marx, I had written the words:
A ghost
appears in Europe, this is the ghost
Of
revolutionary communism,
But now I
know, this ghost of communism
Was an evil
spirit of materialism
And an
ungodly philosophy of Lucifer!
It is right
that we are damned by God,
We had
denied God and his creation
And the
only Saviour Jesus Christ!
Without
Jesus is no hail for mankind
And without
God there is no paradise,
Without the
Holy Ghost there is no freedom!
O Wanderer
through the pit of demonic wisdom,
If you are
searching wisdom, search only the wisdom
Of God,
revealed in the God-man Jesus Christ,
Only Divine
Wisdom leads to paradise!
X
Carina took
me in her arms and said:
There is
another philosopher with a beard,
Whose
wisdom seems to be his beard alone.
My father
had reverence for this philosopher,
His
poetical speech is very bewitching,
But his
wisdom is inspired by evil spirits.
So spoke
Carina, and I saw the philosopher
Weeping and
leaning on a dead horse
And crying:
Dionysos, in an horrible madness.
And this
was Nietzsche, and Nietzsche spoke to me:
I had
preached the super-man of the world,
But I
didn’t recognize the God-man!
My moral
was: There is no moral, but power!
The fittest
will survive, as Darwin said.
I tried to
destroy the commandments of God,
The mosaic
law and the Christendom,
I tried to
destroy the moral of the Jews
And the
Christians as a moral of slaves.
I have
hated the humility
And the
reconciliation, the meekness,
The
softness, the peace of Jesus the Messiah.
I didn’t
want the humility of slaves,
I had liked
the pride of the warriors,
The pride
of the mighty ones, the rulers and kings.
I had
preached the new gospel of Dionysos,
I had
preached the new god, the heathen god,
The
super-man and the Antichrist were my leaders.
Hail my
leader, you are the Antichrist,
You will
hate the slaves of the Jewish race
And the
humility of the Christian slaves!
O Wanderer
through the pits of demonic wisdom,
You had
seen also Hitler in deepest hell,
Hitler,
licking the asshole of Lucifer,
You know
that the national socialists of Hitler
Had
propagated my hate of the Jewish race
And had
tried to create the super-man.
In my
demonic hate of the Jewish race
And of the
holiness of Christendom
I had vowed
myself to the Antichrist,
If his name
had been Zarathustra
Or
Dionysos, but not Jesus Christ,
The Jewish
Messiah, the God of Israel!
So now I’m
damned into hell of false philosophy,
As a false
prophet of the super-man,
A prophet
of war against the Synagoge
And the
Church and war against Jesus Christ,
Jesus
Christ, the judge of the living and the dead,
He overcame
me and threw me into hell.
Here I’m
searching pity and mercy and grace
And find
only the mercy of a dead horse,
My madness
is eternal, without mercy,
I’m in the
merciless hell of eternal madness!
XI
We went
further on through the pit of the hell
Of satanic
wisdom and came into a room
Full of
stinking darkness and burning coals.
And there
we saw in a demonic hieros gamos
A man and a
woman married in hell,
They were
eating one another’s flesh.
And Carina
said: This is the hell
Of the
occultists, seers of Lucifer.
The man is
the occultist Aleister Crowley.
And the
occultist Aleister Crowley was howling
Like a wolf
to the goddess of the moon,
But the
moon in the sky was an heartless stone.
And the
occultist said to me with an harsh voice:
I had made
the oracle of the Tarot
And had
preached about the Egyptian gods.
I had said,
death is a befriended god,
He is the
leader with the head of a dog,
And verily,
Anubis leads into hell!
I had
preached about the goddess of lust,
Riding on
the back of a fierce lion,
Holding in
her hand a cup of blood,.
Do what you
like and everything is good,
Follow your
lust and live your real ego,
This was
the sermon I had preached to the fools.
But now I
know, who is the goddess of lust,
She is the
great whore, the Babylonian whore,
And she
drinks the blood of martyrdom!
I had told
the fools that I was initiated
In the
mystery of the Antichrist.
And the
fools were howling Six Six Six
And the
Antichrist echoed Sex Sex Sex!
And the
disciples of the Antichrist
Were
barking: We desire to go down to hell,
Cause in
hell there is free love, free sex for all!
But know we
find in the hell of the Antichrist
That one is
eating another’s flesh full of hate!
Away, you
fool, I said to Aleister Crowley,
But who is
that occultist woman at his side?
Carina said
to me: This is Madam Blavatsky.
And Madam
Blavatsky said: Satanic wisdom
I had
preached in my books, I was a great liar
And told
everything but never the Truth!
I had seen
the veiled Isis of Sais,
I had been
initiated in the mysteries
Of the old
religion of the Egyptians.
But that
was not enough of devilish wisdom,
I had
preached the lie of reincarnation,
But now I’m
eternally dead in eternal damnation!
I had loved
the idols Isis and Buddha
And Shiva
and Kali, the goddess of death,
But I had
hated Christ and his holy church!
I had
fought against the Catholic church
And also
against her sister, the Lutheran church,
And who
hates the church is hating Jesus!
But Jesus
Christ had damned me into hell,
In the
stinking pit of occultism,
And now I
recognize the Truth and the Wisdom:
Only Jesus
Christ is Truth and Wisdom!
XII
Carina
said: Now you will see the hell
Of false
religion and of evil politics.
So spoke
she and I saw a broken tower
And saw a
heap of stones lying all around
And dust
and smoke in the air and in midst the ruins
I saw a
damned soul, a wicked man
With a long
beard of a religious leader,
And I asked
him, Who are you, wicked man?
And he
howls: I am Osama bin Laden,
I had
preached in the name of the god of the Muslims
And had
preached the holy war of the faithful
Against the
unbelievers, Christians and Jews.
My Allah
was a god of hate and war
And his
commandment was, to murder the fiends,
To murder
them who believe that Jesus is Lord!
In the name
of God I fought against
The Holy
Trinity, the God-man Jesus,
In the name
of God I fought against God!
Now I know,
the God-head is nothing but love,
I know, the
love is Holy Trinity,
I know that
Jesus Christ is the Son of God!
But my
hands were full of blood of the people
I had
murdered in my terrorist action,
And no
murderer can enter into heaven.
I had
believed in my fanatic fundamentalism,
That Allah
likes terror and murder and war,
I had
believed, on the terrorist were waiting
In paradise
seventy Houris, virgins in heaven,
Ready to
unite with the terrorist
Their
everlasting virginity in sexual union!
I was a
fool, a blind leader of the blind,
Now I’m not
united with the Houris,
Now I’m in
the hell of eternal hate!
Allah is
love and Jesus is his son!
But in hell
is reigning eternal hate
And I’m
punished in eternal damnation!
I had shed
blood of innocent people,
Then I was
executed by the American army
And I came
before the Judgement of Jesus,
And I saw
in the mirror of his divinity
My horrible
wickedness and evil heart
And I
condemned myself into hell,
And now
there is no more salvation for me.
O ye
Muslims on the face of the earth,
Repent and
believe in the gospel of Jesus Christ:
God is
three-in-one and Jesus is the Lord!
